Why I'm Voting Democrat

(Borrowed from an e-mail I received today.)

I'm voting Democrat, because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

I'm voting Democrat, because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

I'm voting Democrat, because when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what they're doing because they now think we're good people.

I'm voting Democrat because, I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday CAN tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.

I'm voting Democrat, because I'm not concerned about the rights of victims of crimes so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.

I'm voting Democrat, because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution to the freeloaders.

I'm voting Democrat, because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe wackos who would NEVER get their agendas past the voters.

I'm voting Democrat, because I believe that open borders and government give-a-ways to foreigners is a great way to grow a nation.

I'm voting Democrat, because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.

I'm voting Democrat, because I don’t believe a marriage is just between a man and a woman.

I'm voting Democrat, because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.